Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize