With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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