I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
