so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
