He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize