I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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