Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
