The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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