I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize