So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
