my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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