No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
