hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
