Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
