i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Swine flu is the new snow day.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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