How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
