talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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