Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
