Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
oh god the rape fog is back!
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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