is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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