The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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