we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
