don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize