Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
