I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
