How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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