Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize