I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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