When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize