eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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