Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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