Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
