At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
