Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
