So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
