I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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