Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
