Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
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