Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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