I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
