Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
