More tranny stories later!
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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