im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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