i just wanna soil my oats bro
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Randomize
