that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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