Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
