He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
