Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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