Sry I called you an 8
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
