Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize