i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
