You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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