he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
