Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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