hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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