At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Randomize
