Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
