I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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