I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize