i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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