i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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