My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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