I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I feel great
I just peed on a car
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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