TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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