I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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