Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
