how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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