dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
