talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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