yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
