She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize