By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I have already put on my inside pants.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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